I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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