Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
