i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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