If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize