Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize