Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize