Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
