awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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