someone owes me an orgasm
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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