I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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