Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
He passed out mid-signature
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
