Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
