I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
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