This girl is more easily done than said...
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
one might say we're banned from that church
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
