so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
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I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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