A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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