This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
