Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We had to coat check the pizza.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Randomize
