I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
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