I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
