if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
