Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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