it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
