my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
