maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
