I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
