do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize