do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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