when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
