She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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