the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.