sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I intend to get homeless drunk
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...