the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
