exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Bring me that man meat
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
