Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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