Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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