I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Randomize
