these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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