it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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