Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
