4 words: hood of his car
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize