i already hear my dad disowning me
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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