Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
