I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
