so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
