I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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