Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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