She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
dude. I can hear the air.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize