we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
