I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
