I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
