I just cut my nipple shaving
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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