i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
