If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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