Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
