He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize