Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
