I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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