I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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