By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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