you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize