so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
