Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
