Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
