I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
