anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
