The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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